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My Big Fat Lesbian Divorce – She Wants Her Shoes and I Want My Marriage

In children, civil unions, Crying, Current events, dating, Divorce, domestic, family, gay, gay marriage, grief, homosexuality, kisses, law enforcement, Lesbian, Lesbian Relationships, lgbt, Love, Marriage, news, parenting, portland oregon, promises, single, women on April 11, 2011 at 5:45 pm

I’m angry.

I’m hurt and angry. I don’t know where one begins, and the other starts.

I just got an e/mail from her, asking for specific items from the apt. She wants me to pack them up and leave them with the apt manager, so a friend can pick them up.

I can barely see her pillow on the bed without feeling the pangs of loss, and she wants me to pack her flip flops. . Really?

Really?

I want to grieve, I want to adjust, I need to process. Not rifle through things on the bottom of the closet floor for her favorite flip flops.

I’m so torn. I don’t want anger or malice. But how many times had she hurt me, ignored me and I still stood there for her?

My instinct, when it comes to her, is just give her anything that makes her happy. If her flip flops make her and her feet happy, I would pack them with a bow. But I can’t, not yet. I’m feeling hurt and lied to. I’m trying to think of what I need, while trying to make sense of what I feel.

Besides, some of her stuff is in bags. I’m not ready to rifle through bags just yet. It hasn’t even been a week.

Maybe I’ll feel different in a bit, once I let the pain pass. Right now, I’m just hurting.

I used to love Mondays.

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