lesbianspaghetti

My Big Fat Lesbian Divorce – I Brought You Tea

In Break-up, children, civil unions, court, Current events, dating, Divorce, domestic, family, gay, gay marriage, grief, homosexuality, law enforcement, Lesbian, lgbt, Love, Marriage, news, parenting, portland oregon, promises, single, women on April 13, 2011 at 3:42 pm

It’s a week and a day since she’s gone.

I miss her.

Not the person she was, when she left. But the woman I married.

Perhaps she was the same person all along, but it was how I saw her that changed.

How I listened to her, that changed.

If I’m honest with myself, brutally honest. . she was, and I did.

I know she was a vulnerable soul, looking for her salvation through taking care of those she views weaker. It’s what drives her. It’s why she wants a baby. The ultimate in dependence. The ultimate in being the hero.

Bringing a child to life won’t cure the inner demons, I know. Rescuing the next woman won’t quiet the insecurities for long. There is no voice loud enough to drown out the echoes of your childhood and grief of loss.

Aside from God.

No one, or thing, will.

Trying to find wholeness by running from the broken doesn’t fix anything. It just replaces, and all things are capable of breaking.

Would you throw away a priceless vase simply because it’s broken?

Would you fix it?

Like you kept that lamp you loved.

I’m more important than a lamp.

Aren’t I?

I stood by you, through the echoes and the grief. I stood by you through the loss, and the anger.

I stood by you.

I brought you tea.

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