My Big Fat Lesbian Divorce – A Fish Called Journey

In attorneys, Break-up, children, civil unions, court, Crying, Current events, dating, Divorce, domestic, family, gay, gay marriage, grief, homosexuality, law enforcement, Lesbian, lgbt, Love, Marriage, movies, news, parenting, portland oregon, promises, relationships, single, vows, women on April 16, 2011 at 4:25 pm

I was told yesterday that now is the time to start establishing our own routines. It seems a little weird, I mean it hasn’t even been two weeks yet. But I guess it really is time.

I woke up at 4am alone with my thoughts, and realized I still feel like I belong to her. Like, this is her family. There was a sense of belonging that came with my decision to marry her, as though we fit. So to find my way of starting new routines, apart from my sense of being hers, seems as unnatural as much as it is probably the right thing to do.

I decided to stop seeing the marriage counselor that she and I saw at first. I found a new one so that I can concentrate on just healing. That seemed to be the one thing both counselors who saw me with her both said, I just needed to heal. I’m not blameless in this mess, I know that. I had my obstacles to overcome, for sure. But I really did want to make things work.

But now, I gotta make things work on our own. I’ve done it before, a big part why I never wanted to do it again. I waited a long time to trust someone in our lives because I never wanted to be in this place. On our own, after having the life I thought we were missing out on. . being a family with her.

Today I plan on adding a new addition to our family. I promised the boys we could buy a fish. I set up a nice little aquarium right before all this happened. It’s been ready to house a new tenant the duration of this process. Initially I wanted her to pick our new fish, include her. .

I think I’ll name the new fish “Journey”

  1. I can’t imagine how you feel but the only you can do is just strive towards overcoming it. The fact is that this happened to teach you something whether it be about yourself or life. There may not be some great love out there again but you have your children there to always love you.

    • I’m not sure I believe in great loves, soul-mates and fate (anymore) I do believe in love though, and I do hope that someday, I’ll know what it feels like to share that with a partner. Of course, I’m not even thinking about it right now, I’m still grieving the loss. But yeah, I hope I’ll meet someone that I can share life and love with.

      My children, are amazing. I feel really fortunate to be surrounded with their love.

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