My Big Fat Lesbian Divorce – The Bed Goes Up

In attorneys, Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream Comfort, Break-up, children, christian, civil unions, court, Crying, Current events, dating, Divorce, domestic, family, gay, God, grief, homosexuality, kisses, Law, law enforcement, Lesbian, lgbt, Love, Marriage, news, Pain, parenting, Politics, portland oregon, promises, relationships, religion, sex, single, sleep, women on May 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm

In the midst of the emotion of her having moved her stuff out, I totally forgot to mention she left the bed.

So, my dear friend came by last night and helped me put it back up.

I’m actually happy I spent that moment grieving and saying good bye to her ghost, that day not long ago. And I’m actually kind of glad it was taken apart initially. All the symbolism that went into the process, made it easier to keep the bed than I thought.

I took the boys to IKEA yesterday. I didn’t have much to spend, but I wanted to pick something out that is our choice and hang it on the wall. I love that our place is feeling more like us, and less like her.

It stays cleaner, it’s peaceful and I can now hang what I want on the walls. Of course, I still miss her from time to time, but for very quick small bursts. It takes just one thought of her to bring me back to earth. I do not miss that. I’ve actually been spending more time thinking of all the things I don’t miss, rather than the things I do.

First in the list: my house stays clean again. No more towels on the floor for days at a time. No tripping over the duty belt left on the bedroom floor walk way, no begging her to clean the bathroom (she .5 cleaned the shower once since we moved into this apt last Oct. – I used the other one as much as possible) for the record, I would have done it myself, but I figured one chore for her in an area only she and I used would have been manageable. I also love that I no longer have to have that feeling of dread I used to get when I would ask her to at least move her things out of the walk way. She would get so mad at me, and doubly irritated if I reminded her. She would hurtfully say the “at least I have a job” line at me, though she only worked a shift and my job with the boys is an all day job. I don’t miss how she minimized my role as a wife and parent.


It’s gorgeous outside. I think I’ll take the boys out and enjoy OUR day.


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