My Big Fat Lesbian Divorce – Swimming Sucks And So Does Divorce Drama

In attorneys, Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream Comfort, Break-up, children, christian, civil unions, court, Crying, Current events, dating, Divorce, domestic, family, gay, God, grief, health, homosexuality, Law, Lesbian, lgbt, Love, Marriage, Netflix, news, Pain, parenting, Politics, portland oregon, promises, relationships, religion, single, women on June 28, 2011 at 2:19 am

My ex fired her divorce attorney today.

No. Joke.

I received the email this afternoon. She sent a letter to my attorney stating she has now withdrawn any agreements we had on the table previously, and is now representing herself with full intent on taking this to a hearing and to “throw herself on the mercy of the court”.

Uhm, OK.


We were THIS close to having the divorce done and over with. This is the sense of entitlement that makes her behave as though everyone owes her something that I was talking about a few blogs back. It’s so exhausting to constantly have to stop everything to entertain it. I’ve had several attorneys tell me that I have a really good case, and more than likely could receive way more than I had asked for previously, should this go to trial. The only reason why I let go so many of the things I asked for in this last settlement offer, was to just get it over with. Not because I didn’t have good cause.

But shoot..

I was really looking forward to cake, and celebration and possibly a new pair of heels to go with it all.

I will be so glad when it’s over and I no longer have to even think about dealing with her anymore. I’ve worked hard to make a new life for my children and myself in this town, despite her removing all the things she promised and didn’t keep.

I’ve chosen not to get upset about this, and I’ve chosen not to let it bother me. God has always looked out for my children and I, and I look to Him. Whatever happens, happens.

I’ve got way too much to be thankful for, to even let this bother me.

Which leads me to the second thing that happened to me today.

It’s been pretty humid here, so I took my boys to the pool where I live. 3 of the boys were in the shallow end of the pool, while one decided to sit out. He was sitting beside me on the pool chair.

The one who was sitting beside me on a pool chair, was goofing off a little so I turned my head to look at him. In this moment, my 12 year old son went under the divider apparently and was trying to reach for one of those pool tube thingies (I’m not sure the technical term) that are like long noodles, that help you float.. ? Anyways, I don’t think he realized the pool got deeper as he ventured out in a place he couldn’t touch with his feet.

I turned my around to head count the boys, saw my 12 year old out in the deep end, and ran over to him. He can’t swim. He was waving his arms and went under, twice. I freaked out. I just freaked out. I don’t even remember jumping in the pool. One second I am on the edge yelling at him as he is slipping under the water, and the next I am holding him and trying to keep my head above water while trying to calm him down, because he is pulling me under with him.

The only thing holding us up is the fact I can touch the bottom of the pool with only the tip of my toe.

Lets face it, the only thing holding me up was the hands of God….

I pulled him to the shallow end and just held him. All he could say was “Thank You for saving my life Mom”.. He and I were both just stunned at what had taken place. In all my years parenting, I had never had anything even remotely close to what happened today, happen. It was numbing, and awakening all at the same time.

I’m not sure I have even still processed what happened today. I can’t believe my child was that close to something so awful and I can’t believe I saw it happening. I’m just so glad I was there to pull him out.

So that was Monday. Tomorrow we have plans for some fun things, which will not involve swimming in anyway shape or form. At least not until we have sat down and went through all the rules, and possibly some life jackets or a protective floating bubble of some sort.

I’m thankful for all I have, and refuse to focus on that which my ex is trying to take from me. I’ve been given a lot of amazing things in my life, and nothing she does will reduce the joy I am choosing to take in it. I’ve survived the last few months, and walked through grief and into joy.

I have a lot to be thankful for, including this journey.

  1. Holy crap, that made my eyes watery to read about the incident with your son at the pool. I guess because it reminded me of my daughter at a young age. She was an overzealous eater, and particularly loves oranges. Sometimes she would stuff 3 orange slices into her mouth when she was in the “solids” eating stage. I think I had to do the baby heimlich on her a total of 3 times, and 2 out of 3 were because of oranges! I just remember seeing it happen and before I knew what was REALLY going on, I had her over my lap doing the back pats. I’ll never forget those times though. What could have happened had I not been there with her.
    It’s a good feeling to be a mommy!

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