lesbianspaghetti

My Big Fat Lesbian Divorce – 3 Months Later

In Uncategorized on July 5, 2011 at 11:52 pm

*The following was written on the 5th of July. I never finished it, because to be honest I just didn’t want to say anything to piss her off and add fuel to the divorce drama. But in a few moments I am going to blog some news, so I feel liberated to publish this. I would like to say I did have quite an enjoyable celebration for the 4th of July. We went to BBQ, a celebration and watched the fireworks. Not once did I find myself wishing I could share any of it with her.

 

 

Today marked three months since I asked my ex to leave the apartment. It’s also Independence Day. Quite poetic passing…

A lot has happened since my first post. I’ve grieved, come to terms and now I’m just waiting for everything to settle.

I’d like the divorce to be final, no matter how much she wants to fight. But I feel pretty strong about the fact she moved us up here, and now wants to dispose of us like some bag of rubbish she put by the curb side. She made a lot of promises, verbal contracts, and promised a lot to my children. I’m not asking for much, in fact less than she promised, and less than she set us back. But if she wants to continue the fighting, there’s really nothing I can do but wait it out.

Actually there’s no one fighting, but her.

I know that I gave up fighting a long time ago. Months were spent just letting her yell and be angry over things I had no control over. Yet, she somehow thought being angry about would change all of it.

A good example is that line “You don’t make me feel special.” I have no idea who can make someone else feel “special” 24/7. Nor do I a partner should be asked to carry that responsibility in the first place. When we love someone, it’s evident. We do things to care for each other, we’re present and we nurture the relationship. But when that isn’t enough and the other is constantly screaming about not feeling special, then the person complaining needs to look within themselves. Because all of the gold in the world can not fill that which seems to be missing.

It’s sad, but she used to tell me how her previous partners didn’t make her feel special either, so I knew it was a constant. But because I was the person in front of her, it became my fault. So she fought with me about it.

No, let me rephrase that….

She fought at me about it.

 

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