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My Big Fat Lesbian Divorce – Let’s Not Do The Time Warp Again

In Break-up, christian, civil unions, clothing, court, Crying, Current events, dating, Divorce, domestic, Edgefield McMenamins, family, fashion, gay, gay marriage, God, grief, health, homosexuality, Law, law enforcement, Lesbian, Lesbian Relationships, lgbt, Love, Marriage, movies, Netflix, news, Pain, Politics, portland oregon, promises, relationships, religion, school, sex, single, sleep, Uncategorized, vows, wedding, women on July 19, 2011 at 2:23 pm

I was cleaning out the closet, and came across a few things I had bought because she wanted me to. They’re ugly.

I got to thinking about all the real annoying habits she had, and trying to dress me was one of them. Which, I found odd because she had really bad taste when it came to clothing herself. I rarely liked what she wore, but never pointed it out, and never would have to the degree she did with me.

I bought stupid crap that wasn’t me, at all, in effort to try and look pleasing for her. But I don’t really recall her ever putting forth the same effort. I used to ask if she would wear her hair down, but she often refused. Choosing instead to keep it pulled back in that awful ponytail, that usually looked like the alternative to having to take the effort to comb and style her hair.

I also thought about all the times she would pick at me on the way out the door. “Fix your hair”, “What’s that, a zit?”, “Don’t wear the red coat, I don’t like it”, “Wear the gold hoops I gave you, they look better” and so on….. and on, and on.

I’m past being angry with her for all of the things she did, but I still feel a need to finally voice how I often felt about things. Call it a verbal cleansing of the mind if you will.

I also used to detest the fact she is a slob. I can’t recall how many times I would beg her to lift a finger and clean the one room I’d asked her to help upkeep, the master bedroom bathroom. In the span of 6 months, she had cleaned the shower once. It was gross. Her constant debate was since I was home full time, I should have done it for her. What she truly wanted was a June Cleaver apron wearing 50s Stiletto wearing cake baking wife. While she wanted to take a more traditional 50s male identified role with the family.

I started to feel like I had time warped into 1954.

The ugly brown jacket faces a fate of being donated, as it serves a reminder of all the things she wanted me to be and the part of myself I had lost.

I hope wherever it ends up, it ends up in the hands of someone who actually wants it.

Good bye brown jacket.

Good bye 1954 time warp.

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