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My Big Fat Lesbian Divorce – 4 Months

In attorneys, Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream Comfort, blogging, Break-up, cancer, children, christian, civil unions, clothing, coat hangers, court, Crying, Current events, current events, dating, Divorce, domestic, family, fashion, gay, God, grief, health, homosexuality, Law, law enforcement, Lesbian, Lesbian Relationships, lgbt, Love, love, Marriage, military, movies, news, Pain, parenting, people, Politics, portland oregon, relationships, Relationships, religion, school, single, sleep, Uncategorized, vows, wedding, women on August 20, 2011 at 1:51 am

August 4th came and went. It marked a couple of dates that are significant, but I’ve been so busy living, that I totally let it slip by.

While I understand this is a good thing, proof that my life has continued just fine, I am wishing I had taken total advantage and used it to mark a celebration of sorts. However, it’s never really too late to celebrate getting rid of crap, so I have planned a purging celebration to take place. Getting rid of anything to do with her, or anything she has given me.

August 4th marked the 4th month since I had her asked to leave, but it also marked the anniversary of our first date. The date lasted 10 hours, and took place mostly walking around downtown and talking. We had spent so much time chatting, that both of us had extended past the meters and both of us received a parking ticket that afternoon, on our vehicles. I came across the ticket that I had received, I saved it just for the sentiment of it all. But that has become a part of the purge and I no longer want anything. I want no remnants of that day, anything to remind me that it even happened.

I suppose that might sound like I am trying to erase the past, and dealing with the past is far more healthier than just pretending it didn’t happen. But I am in no shortage of constant reminders that I was married to her. I guess it is like packing a bag. When you have too much to close it, you either find a way to shove it all in and zip up the bag, or you dump the excess.

I am dumping the excess.

I’ve also had her creditors calling and asking for her. She is apparently not answering their calls, so they are instead, calling me. I’ve asked them to please remove my number from their databases, so here is hoping they will.

When I met her, her credit was a mess. I worked my bum off to help get her credit cleaned up so she could buy a house. But the first time she actually decided to try and handle her bank account on her own, she managed to put it in the red. I can actually pin that to the date, because I was shocked when I saw she made a purchase that she couldn’t afford. I completely stopped helping her that day, and ever since then she has tried to pin the blame on me for the mess her life was becoming. Denial of personal used to cause so many of our problems.

It’s weird, I’ve been thinking about that… the denial thing. She could literally stand in front of me, say something or do something, then completely deny it within seconds. It was soooooo weird…. Like, the jewelry.

Since she has been gone, I have found that there was more that I wasn’t told all the details of. I would like to say I was surprised, or even completely shocked, when I found out. But I wasn’t.

I am becoming more and more thankful that I am no longer with that woman. I have seen things for what they really were (and were not) the void has been replaced with a feeling of liberation and salvation.

Which makes this song so perfect for my thoughts today.. Milli Vanilli.. A group as fake as her love was, lypsynching lyrics about putting the blame on anything other than where it should truly fall. Perfect.

http://youtu.be/rB0Le3oM1b8

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